such small hands

Golf Season Update

I was going to title this post "End of Golf Season," but I realize it's really not. We'll certainly keep playing here in Michigan as long as weather allows and the courses stay open. Plans include some travel to South Carolina in October and November, so that will extend the season still further.

Although I'm in a bit of a slump at the moment, I have been playing some of my best golf ever. The trip to Lost Lake Woods Club last month saw me make birdie on two separate days (same par-3 hole) and my best score there ever, a 108. I also managed to shoot a 102 at one of the Maple Lane courses (I forget which). So, Ken tells me that breaking 100 is "inevitable." It just may not happen this year. Stay tuned.

The irony of it all is that, now, when I score a rather average 113, as I did this weekend, I feel that I've been playing badly. What a difference just a few strokes makes to the ego. Then Ken reminds me that I was shooting around 140 at the end of last season. I have to thank golf pro Jim Dahline for the big improvement. Just a 6-week course of golf lessons through the city of Royal Oak rec department last winter. Best $86 I ever spent on my golf game. Which works out to about $2.87 per stroke to lower my score. Such a deal!

Peer Mentoring

Last November, I took some training to become a Peer Mentor through the hospital where I received my kidney transplant and the National Kidney Foundation. I waited and waited to be assigned to a person, but nothing happened.

Then just before Labor Day, I got a call from the social worker at the transplant unit. She had matched me with a woman who has been on dialysis only a few months. Would I be willing to meet with her?

I was very hesitant and nervous at first, but I prayed about it and asked other people to pray as well. I called the woman and our first conversation went well. She was enthusiastic about having a Peer Mentor and was more than willing to get together. We set up a date to meet for lunch.

Our first meeting went very well. Kathie is a bright, intelligent woman who is going through some very tough and scary times with her health right now. It helps to have someone who will listen to your fears and frustrations and share their own experience with you. You know you are not walking through this experience alone.

Many of her feelings mirrored my own as I was beginning dialysis: the frustration with procedures that don't go well and the desire to just get through one treatment without something going wrong. Now I can look back on those times and see that yes, things did get better, treatments went more smoothly and I got stronger. Kathie will, too.

End of the Garden

It's already September and the summer has flown. Amy is back at school; Alyssa is still with us, working part-time and going to school.

The garden is beginning to fade. Overall, because the weather has been so cool and wet, the vegetables have been a disappointment. Poor tomatoes. We had a decent crop of leaf lettuce, but the onions and radishes didn't produce anything edible. A few pathetic cucumbers. A handful of green peppers. A steady few bits of broccoli; never enough for a batch to cook, but plenty for tossing into salads. Something kept nipping off my zucchini blossoms just as they were fading, so the plant never yielded any fruit.

The herbs did pretty well though. Lots of flat-leaf parsley which still persists. Tons of chives and oregano. The cilantro bolted right to seed and never produced anything worth eating. The basil is still looking good and growing well. Tarragon is coming along too. The thyme and sage in pots are also fine and I'll be wintering them over inside the house again this year. My rosemary died, however. I repotted it and realized too late that the pot wasn't draining properly, so the plant drowned. Ken drilled some holes in the pot, so I may buy another plant and try wintering that over.

In the spring, we replaced the dying holly "bushes" with yews. They've been taking hold well and I expect in a few years we'll have to prune them back to keep them from growing over the front window.

While the cool temperatures were a blessing for the low electric bills, I can't help thinking we didn't have much of a real summer here in Michigan.

Musings of a Work-at-Home Writer

Yes, I really am that crazy lady watching you from behind the blinds. I am becoming Gladys Kravitz.

So why in the world would my neighbors across the street have a crew in to rip up their entire front yard? When it's almost August? And the house is not even 10 years old, closer, maybe, to 5?

I have quit Twitter. What a waste of time.

A trip to Kalamazoo is on tap for the weekend, to help Amy move from the renowned Davis Street house to an apartment. And think of it: Our next trip to Kalamazoo will probably be in December, for her graduation! Wow. Me, the mom of a college graduate.

I'd like to say I'll be posting here more often, but I won't make promises I can't keep. After more than 6 years, I should probably rethink this whole blogging thing. Really, what is so unique about my voice that it should be added to the noise?

Eating Well on a Budget

In a nod to the recession, the July issue of Cooking Light has an article titled "How I stretch my food budget." Since I've been doing that for about a year now since my freelancing adventure began, I was especially keen to see if I could learn anything new.

So, here are the author's tips:
Eat more meatless meals -- actually, this would be a good idea, and we do that to some extent. Although we are unrepentant carnivores, and we like to have meat or fish at dinner. I just stretch it with more vegetables these days.

Make a meal plan -- This is one rule that I heartily endorse. Really cuts down on impulse buying and waste. You buy what you need for the week, making a list and sticking to it. I always base my menus on the specials for the week at my favorite grocery store. The cereal that's on sale, that's what I buy.

Do it yourself -- This is another rule that I try to follow. I buy fresh vegetables that I have to cut up and peel myself. (After all, now I have the time, with about a 15-second commute from my home office to the kitchen.) The article suggests buying whole chickens instead of pieces ... which is a good idea sometimes. Just keep in mind that you're going to have  a lot of waste with a whole chicken -- bones, skin and fat -- that you are paying for. If your store has a good special on boneless skinless chicken breast, go for it; you'll have very little waste. Also, I'm trying to avoid using the oven in the summer at any cost, so I won't be roasting any whole chickens any time soon. In the fall, I'll sometimes roast two whole chickens; we'll have most of one for dinner the first night and I'll use much of the second breast for casserole the second night. The rest is great for evening snacks.

Learn to stretch meat, poultry and fish -- we do this too. Casseroles in the fall; stir-fries and other stove-top one-dish meals in the summer. I've gotten our household hooked on Spanish rice, and there's always pasta dishes. Soups are great for this too -- I have a cod chowder and a beef barley soup in the menu rotation right now.

Eat in season -- we sort of do this, especially in the summer with strawberries, blueberries, melons, peaches, etc. There is some difference of opinion whether buying in season is less expensive. But it is the best way to get produce at the peak of flavor. The best way to eat in season, of course, is to grow your own. It's still early for our garden, but we've had a few cherry tomatoes and small radishes. I just harvested a tidy little batch of black-seeded Simpson leaf lettuce. I grew up with that variety, which my mom would turn into wilted lettuce. To a bowl of washed lettuce and maybe some thinly sliced onion, she'd add a warm dressing of bacon, vinegar, oil, salt and pepper. I would have eaten the entire bowl if she would've let me.

Dodged a Bullet

I went in for my annual mammogram on Monday. Today I had to go back for a re-check ultrasound. It was not the calcifications that they found before, back in 2006. It was just a cyst, which the doctor aspirated. He said I'm all clear until next year. Praise God from whom all reprieves flow! There is nothing quite like the anxiety of being called back after a mammogram.

The Kid Has a Summer Job!

After only a few weeks of sending out resumes and letters via e-mail (ah, the new world of job hunting!) Amy has landed a summer internship at Marx Layne & Company, a PR firm in suburban Detroit! I am so amazingly proud of her, you wouldn't believe it. She starts on Friday. Unfortunately, the internship is unpaid, but I am taking the long-term view here and looking at how this will help her land a real, paying job when she graduates in December. Her boss told her that she and the other two interns will be working on the Arts, Beats & Eats festival, which takes place in downtown Pontiac over Labor Day weekend. This is last year's Web site for the festival.

Amy could not be more excited about the prospect of working at a real job in her chosen field for the summer. It's going to be quite an adventure.

Purging the Bad Stuff

This is what happened to the scorecard from yesterday's round of golf. A really, really bad day for both Ken and me. All of the bad juju went up in flames from the barbecue grill. Just to make sure it's all gone, I think I'll clean my clubs before the next time I play. Oh, and spend a lot of time at the driving range working on drills, putting and chipping.

For a Good Cause

Saturday was the annual church Golf Outing to benefit the senior high youth summer mission trip. Unfortunately for Ken and me, Saturday was a perfectly awful day for golf. We played a best-ball scramble with the shotgun start beginning at 8 a.m. We maybe had a couple of hours of pleasant weather, in which the sun shone and the wind didn't drift every high shot off-course. Most of the time it was either lightly drizzling or outright pouring Our foursome actually made it through 15 holes before decided this wasn't fun any more and packing it into the clubhouse.

So far I have been playing well on the golf league. I shot a 59 (nine holes) the first week and 56 the second week. We'll see how I do tonight. I was hitting some pretty good shots on Saturday, and we even used a couple of my drives as the best ball.

Amy is now home for the summer, looking for a job and/or an internship in Public Relations. I guess that is my Mother's Day present. And while it is great having her home, it is an adjustment after at least two years of having her home for only occasional visits.

We are also giving her friend Alyssa a place to stay for a couple of months. Alyssa and Amy have been like sisters since they were in 5th grade. Alyssa lost her mom when she was about 5, and then her dad died of a sudden heart attack when she was in 8th grade. So she was staying with family until after high school. Most recently, she was living up in Midland. But she is back in Royal Oak, looking to get her license in cosmetology and find real work.

So, we really have a houseful for the summer -- four people and two cats. Lord have mercy.

I've cleaned up the garden for the most part and gotten it ready to plant. Yesterday, I planted seeds for lettuce, green onions and radishes. Still a bit too early for the more tender plants, as I saw a frost warning for tonight in the paper. We're planting more things to eat than flowers this year. What about you?  Has the recession had an effect on your gardening plans?

I am disappointed with the response to our free financial workshop/Bible study at church, which starts next Sunday. We've had 8 people sign up. I am praying that more people show up on Sunday than have registered. Really, I know people who need this and can't imagine why they haven't signed up. Update: Although we had only a few people pre-register for the workshop, on Sunday morning 35 people showed up for the class!! Maybe a few more will join as the participants talk about it with their friends.

Spring Sprang

April has been a chaotic month, weatherwise. Sunny and warm one day, thunderstorms and cool the next. Resulting in a bursting of vegetation. The trees are out, the grass is lush, early spring flowers are in bloom. Ken mowed the lawn last weekend for the first time.

I'm a derelict blogger, alas. And if it weren't for a few people who check in here occasionally to find out if we're still alive, I probably wouldn't post this often. What am I going to add to the chatter on the Internet over the news -- swine flu, the torture memos, Obama's first 100 days, the fates of GM and Chrysler?

I've been getting a little work, but not enough to keep me really busy. Slow, but pretty steady. Part of my time is spent working on Stewardship Board things for church. This is not a fun time to be talking about stewardship in the church -- if what you mean by stewardship is the usual shakedown for money that many people associate with church. Instead, we've been trying to use this time to minister to people with layoff fears and other financial concerns. Next month, we are starting a 6-week workshop on biblical money management. I am praying that many people will take advantage of this free opportunity to learn some new skills.

Amy finished her next-to-last term at Western Michigan. Her grades were the best ever -- a 3.72 GPA for the semester. After sweating bullets over her yearlong project for her PR class, she came out with an A and glowing reviews for her team's presentation to Cityscape Events of Kalamazoo. With God's grace, maybe this will also turn into a summer internship for her. She has been polishing her resume and sending it out to some prospects.

It wouldn't be a blog post without talking about golf, would it? Ken and I have been playing pretty regularly for the past two weekends, despite some pretty soggy course conditions. I've also signed up to play on his golf league for the summer; our first match was Monday evening. Ken and I are not partners; we play together so often, we thought it would be fun to play with other people. It also gives us more to talk about when we get home. My partner's name is Dan; he's 30-something, quiet and reserved, and a pretty good player as well. I was pretty happy with my score, so I hope Dan doesn't think I'm a drag as a partner.

Close Encounters of the Florida Kind

Ken and I returned Tuesday from our last Florida trip of 2009. I'm just now getting caught up enough to post.

Golf has also turned us into something of casual bird watchers and wildlife observers. On our first afternoon to play, we were pulling the golf cart up to the green on the 8th. I heard a scuffling through the leaves to my right, as if a squirrel were scampering away. I turned around just in time to see it was NOT a squirrel, but an alligator we had startled! I emitted a colorful exclamation ... probably close to what the gator was also thinking. Sheesh. Was I glad that we weren't walking. The gator won't be straying so far from  his pond anytime soon, I think.

We also spotted a spectacular pileated woodpecker on the course at Plantation Inn (Crystal River). I only know that because by now we know to pack the Peterson Field Guide so we can go back to the room and identify what we've seen that day.

What's really cool is that there are a pair of nesting ospreys in a tall tree next to the 18th green. The mother sits on the nest all day, while Papa Osprey goes out to hunt. He stays in a nearby branch overnight. Mom doesn't dare leave the nest, as there can be as many as 10 crows in the tree, waiting for her to leave so they can eat the eggs. Yep. "Nature, red in tooth and claw."

Plantation Inn was hosting a college women's golf invitational during our visit, so on Sunday we played a neighboring course, El Diablo Golf and Country Club. The name is fitting. Wow. It's a beautiful course; don't get me wrong. But it's a bitch to play. LOTS of sand. LOTS. The carts have their own rakes, which ought to tell you something. I survived. That's all I can really say. I didn't shoot a 180. There.

Actually, the golf was just about average for me. I thought, because of the lessons, that I was just going to burn up the course and have noticeably lower scores. Not so. I still struggled off the tee, to the point where I just quit using my driver after a while. Inconsistent in the fairways. Much better at pitching and chipping however. Shot my very first chip-in. Made some very good, difficult putts. Hit my irons better than anything else. Made several pars --- one on a par-4 hole. So, what do they say? My play was better than my score reflected.

Found a wonderful little obscure Italian restaurant nearby in an anonymous-looking strip mall. La Casa di Norma. Ken had pasta in white clam sauce, clams still in the shells. My orange roughy was outstanding. Gotta go back.

Next vacation won't be until June in Lost Lake. Meanwhile, we should be able to play some golf here. Golf league starts at the end of April, and the church golf outing is May 9. I am hoping to be better by then. As Alonzo Mourning says in the G2 ad, "If I keep playing golf the way I play pool, I'm gonna get better at it. If I keep drinkin' that G2, watch out Tiger."

Reconnecting

Sometimes we lose touch with people -- not mere aquaintances, but people who really mattered at pivotal points in our lives. People who changed us, made us who we are now.

My friend Catherine is such a person. We met in college -- our junior or senior year, I'm not sure. We worked together in the crummy little campus TV station and became fast friends. We partied together, shared secrets that will go to our graves and made big plans for who we would become after graduation.

But nothing strengthened the bond between us like The Trip To Europe. From the moment Catherine asked me to go with her to backpack around Europe and I gave her a serious yes, that was it. We were in this together and we were going to make it happen, no matter what.

And we did. From September to November 1978, we visited almost every country in Western Europe. By Eurailpass and sometimes hitchhiking. Staying in youth hostels, cheap pensions or, once, sleeping out. It was a profoundly life-changing experience.

We came home, found jobs, got married. She went to Oklahoma and I ended up in Michigan. Still, we made time to see each other, taking no-spouses vacations. She is the reason I've been to San Francisco and strolled down Castro Street. She is the reason I canoed down the Arkansas River and spent a sleepless night in a tent, listening to the chorus of tree frogs.

But then the babies came -- first her Angelea and then my Amy. My last picture of Catherine is from spring 1988. Amy's dad is holding her 6-month-old self and Catherine is holding a very reluctant Angelea.

Life happened and we grew apart. Her husband quit his job to build their house. I think the last time I spoke to her was the awful phone call in 1995 when I told her I was leaving my marriage. I guess I figured she hated me for that (she was my matron of honor), so I was afraid to try calling her old phone number in the years that followed.

Then, this past Christmas Eve, an astonishing present appeared in my Hotmail inbox -- an e-mail from Catherine. She had tracked me down, via the Internet White Pages and Google, which led her to this blog.

God bless this sweet, goofy blog.

Her note quickly brought me up-to-date on the years-long gap -- her own divorce, her daughters' endeavors, her job. But her biggest news was her plan for the future -- she was retiring from 28 years in social work for the State of Oklahoma. To join the Peace Corps. In Albania.

Amid the craziness of her preparations to leave the country for two years, we haven't been able to connect. Until today. The thin thread of a cell phone connection erased the expanse of years and miles between us. Catherine, sitting in her car at a Nowata, Oklahoma, gas station, and I, sitting at my kitchen table in Royal Oak, Michigan, chatted away as if we had been meeting for years to talk over coffee.

Tomorrow morning, she gets on a plane for Philadelphia. And by St. Patrick's Day my sweet Irish girlfriend will be off to a strange new country.

She'll have a cell phone and a brand-new laptop. So, if she can find an Internet cafe, maybe I'll get a few e-mails. Or a transAtlantic cell phone call.

Then, when she comes home, we'll play a few rounds of golf. And write a book together about our adventures. Because, like life-long friendships, the story never really ends.

Amy Welborn's New Blog

Amy Welborn, extraordinary writer and Catholic blogger, is now writing over at Beliefnet. Her blog is called Via Media. I don't know whether she will continue writing at Charlotte Was Both, so I will change the link in my blogroll to take you to Via Media. She has some thoughts on Psalm 23:1 that I think you won't want to miss. Her thoughts about "I shall not want" in light of her grief and loss. I can't imagine what she describes as "absolute silence in a bedroom in the darkness of night, a silence undisturbed by a breathing, shifting presence on the other side of the bed." I know God's grace is sufficient for all things but ... still, it's hard to imagine.

New Site: Front Porch Republic

In my wandering around the Interwebz, I learned about a new blog/e-magazine called Front Porch Republic. It includes the writing of several younger conservative voices that I've been reading for several months now: Rod Dreher, Patrick Deneen, Daniel Larison, among others. I recommend it to you if you appreciate thoughtful writing on political, social and cultural issues from a conservative perspective. It's the anti-Rush Limbaugh.

As an introduction, and to explain the site's name, I refer you to this piece by Deneen: "A Republic of Front Porches." Does your house have a front porch? Do you sit on it? Ours is small, just big enough for a couple of chairs and a pathway to the front door. But Ken sits there often when the weather allows and I will sometimes join him, just to watch the neighborhood go by. Our across-the-street neighbors often use their front porch as a smoking room, no matter the weather. People pass by walking their dogs or pushing strollers. They seem more likely to say hi than they would if you were meeting in a more public place.

Welcome to March

Can spring really be that far away?

I finished the taxes over the weekend (with many thanks to Turbo Tax. Never had a big problem with "the box," as the ads for H&R Block would have you believe.) E-filed the returns this morning. Our income was a bit lower because of my layoff, reduced interest and dividends. As a result, we are getting a tidy refund from Uncle Sam. A chunk of it will go to pay down the mortgage and the rest will be saved to pay for Amy's final semester at Western Michigan in the fall.

Ken and I started taking golf lessons a couple weeks ago. It's at a local golf dome, and is sponsored by our city's recreation department. We both really enjoy our instructor, Jim. Ken's probably coming away with the greatest benefit. We went to the dome on Saturday to practice and I just couldn't do what I was supposed to do (get the ball to go left). Pretty much a waste of a large bucket. I plan to work on the drills this week before trying to hit balls again. And I did so well at the lesson on Thursday; that's what I don't understand.

Amy wil be home later this week for spring break. She also has a meeting on Friday with the woman who's going to be supervising her summer internship here at Crain Communications. Amy couldn't be more excited about it.

For our Lenten devotional, Ken and I have been reading "The Power of the Cross" by Michael Dubruiel (yes, he is Amy Welborn's late husband). His insights have been very thought-provoking and helpful for getting me into a Lenten frame of mind.

On a lighter note, we have one more trip to Crystal River, Florida, planned at the end of March. By that time, it will be almost spring in Michigan and the golf courses will begin to dry out enough to be playable.

Oh yeah. Wasted three hours of my life last night watching "Magnolia." Don't know what I was thinking.