Just Frustrated

Sometimes I just don’t know how to talk to my daughter about Christianity. We were OK talking about “The Passion” after she saw it. But yesterday, on the way home from church, all I did was ask her what her boyfriend said when she told him about the movie. And I know he doesn’t believe in Jesus as his savior, nor does he believe Jesus is the Son of God. I’m not even sure he believes that Jesus lived and certainly he doesn’t think the Bible is reliable on matters of history or fact.

I do understand that my daughter is rather confused at times about what she really believes. What gets my goat, though, is that she is content to be confused. She says she’s only been exposed to Christianity, which is true, and she would like to know more about other religions, but then does nothing to investigate what other religions say. And if I try to explain that the world’s religions don’t all say the same thing about who God is, who man is and why the world is the way it is — and challenge her to find the answers to her questions — well, I’m just the bad guy trying to force Christianity on her. She ends up thinking I'm judgmental and intolerant.

The whole thing reminds me a bit of the G.K. Chesterton quote: “Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.”

Comments

[Rosemarie O]

Okay Mom, I think you are taking it all too personal. She's just a typical teenager. She's at that stage in her life where she thinks she doesn't need mom telling her what to do. In her mind, she's old enough to make her own decisions until something happens, like her car accident, and then she wants her mom and there's nothing wrong with that. It's our job as Moms to give our children the right values and teach them everything we know and then let them venture out on their own. Unlike baby birds, we don't just push them out of the nest one day and they're on their own, it happens gradually. You've done a great job raising Amy but now you have to trust her to do the right thing and be there if and when she needs you. I would guess the most important things in her life right now is how long before she can drive again; does her boyfriend really like her; are her friends really her friends, what will she to wear to school tomorrow, etc., etc. Those things that we feel are very important are at the bottom of that list. All you can do at this point in her life, is love her, trust her, reign her in when necessary, be there if she gets lost and needs your help and most important PRAY. One day you'll look back and it will be a fond memory.

[Bryan]

Just a couple of observations and you can decide what you want to do with them...

First, you are honoring your responsibility to raise up your child in the way she should go. You aren't obligated to show her every theology out there. While she might be a little "stifled" by not learning about other religions from a parent's perspective, it is the equivalent of saying, "I've dedicated my life to giving you the best life possible. I've learned that there is one safe drink available, and everything else is poison -- all the rest will kill you, some fast some slow. Because of my love, I've chosen to protect you from all those poisons so you can drink from the safe fountain."

If she's steadfast on learning about other religions, offer to study them with her, so you can be sure to correlate false teachings against the Word of God. We have nothing to fear by exposing the lies of the world to the Light of God.

Make no apologies for dedicating yourself to giving your children Truth. At the same time, know that a child will rebel, will disobey, will disappoint (just like we do with our heavenly Father). Stay consistent. Be filled with grace and mercy. Don't compromise holiness. And don't judge your daughter where she is now...God's love will win out.

Peace and Grace, friend...

[Linea]

I can really identify with you. It is almost as if they can't see the immense value of the one thing most precious to us and we want them to soooo badly.

But they do have to come to a faith of their own. We know that and want to help them but from us it is hard to accept - and they do not want to talk about it with us. Maybe they see that for us there is no other way so maybe that is one way of acknowledging that.

So we have to live out our faith and pray because they have to meet God for themselves. And pray and pray and pray.

[Theologian Guy]

I see you still struggle with your daughter over things religious and spiritual (as if they are mutually exclusive categories!). Take heart. You are doing the best you can. Hang in there. If she is really interested in know what is true from what is false, she will look earnestly. And if she does look earnestly, long and hard, at herself and at the Christian faith, I think she will experience a true conversion. Then it is up to you and the church to find ways to affirm such faith and re-newed commitment. I have my ideas, but I'll keep them to myself for now.